


I Loved You Before I Knew You

by Emeli_Thorne



Series: How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful [2]
Category: Pitch (TV 2016)
Genre: Bawson soulmate au, F/M, silly idiots who fall in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-05
Updated: 2017-12-05
Packaged: 2019-02-11 03:16:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12926163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emeli_Thorne/pseuds/Emeli_Thorne
Summary: Soulmate AU in which one can hear their soulmate’s thoughts (one sided).At some point in his life, Mike Lawson starts hearing some girl's voice in his head, cheering him on, helping him get through hard times in his life. It's silly at first, but as time goes by, he grows accustomed, even fond of it.Years later, he gets to meet the person behind the voice.





	I Loved You Before I Knew You

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted some 10 months ago on my tumblr http://the-mimi-hiddleston.tumblr.com/post/156733655894 
> 
> This was supposed to be just an AU idea for Bawson fic that someone could write but idk why I started writing it all out myself… Anyway …I know it must have certain plotholes but really, it’s no biggie. This was written for fun :D I've adapted it a little so it can be read as a story rather than some random au idea with no real beginning as I first posted.

Mike Lawson is eighteen years old the first time he hears his soulmate's voice in his head.

It's just some silly thoughts of, what he assumes is, a five-year-old girl and some inside jokes her little brain comes up with.

Years later, during games, he hears her now-teenage voice cheer him on, ‘You can do it, Mike!’.

It's so random, these thoughts of hers - one day he's having breakfast and hears her say ‘One day, Mike Lawson, I’m gonna marry you.’ The night of his team's big win, just as he's getting ready for bed, her voice brings the biggest grin on his face, larger than the one he sported that day during the press conference when she says ‘Good night, Mike. You played well today.’

More often than not, there will be some random thoughts about dresses vs. baseball, his own stats, advice on how he could improve his play.

At first, it freaks him out - hearing her but not knowing her, feeling her joy and  _love?_ for him, this child-like fascination with Mike Lawson. It takes him some time but he gets used to it. The presence of her voice, her thoughts that pop every once in awhile in his head become oddly comforting so much so he learns to rely on them to help him sleep or focus before a game or even lift his spirits whenever the Padres lose because he can’t stand letting her down, this person who has become his constant companion, someone in whose musings he finds solace. It does wonders for his ego as well, he’s not gonna lie, being liked this much by someone.

Sometimes she’ll think of the most embarrassing things about him, how attractive he is, how good of a player he is, some cheesy jokes and he would laugh his ass off, thanking god this person exists because Mike thinks his life would be so dull without her curious and helpful insights.

*  *   *

She guards his rookie card like a dragon guards its treasure. Mike knows this because the girl’s scrambled thoughts let him know she got into a fight with someone who tried to play a joke on her and hid it. God, he wouldn’t want to find himself on her bad side seeing how she obliterates the person with her loud voice that manages to transfer into Mike’s brain - her rage is real.

*   *  *

Things change after he starts dating Rachel and the news goes public - the voice becomes somewhat sadder, possibly even angrier. Mike hopes it’s not because of him, that maybe there’s stuff happening in her life making her feel and think the way she does. Actually, he knows there’s something happening because she keeps thinking of her mom and someone named - Kevin? and there are random curses and swearing which sadden him. Mike wants to be able to comfort her the way she comforted him, but he can’t.

*   *   *

He hears her pray for his broken knees, pray for his recovery, pray that he’ll be able to play again as tiny sobs make their way into his mind as well. It’s her blind faith in him and that unconditional support she offers to a player she happens to like that push him to give his all on the field and now too, as he fights for his career, for the opportunity to play again. He makes it through, her ‘Go, Lawson!’ drawing a smile on his face long after he had forgotten how to smile. Rachel’s is there too of course, but… he can’t compare her and  _the girl_. They both provide him with something he needs just in different ways. (Secretly though, Mike’s just too afraid to admit to himself  _her_  support means more, so much more than Rachel’s ever did.)

*   *   *

After a few years of dating, Rachel and he get married; it’s nothing too pompous though there are a few reporters that take their pictures. They appear a few hours later on one website and spread like wildfire all over the Internet.

That night is the last time he hears her. Her last thought he hears is ‘What did ya think, not like you’re going to marry him, you fool get over your stupid teenage crush’ but it’s more like her recollecting someone else’s words mocking her than her own disappointment with him.

*  *  *

The voice becomes silent after that, making him worry something had happened to its owner. However, there’s nothing he can do since he knows nothing about this person, this girl who has been his greatest cheerleader for years.

*   *   *

He misses it, her. Rachel notices but doesn’t ask. It’s for the best, anyway. Mike is not sure he would even be able to explain the hollowness he feels in his chest due to her absence. Sometimes he wonders if Rachel hears her own soulmate’s thoughts… They’ve never discussed it, never talked about the fact they are together but aren’t supposed to be. 

*   *   *

They make it work somehow and Mike is happy with Rachel - until he isn’t.

It starts with them bickering over his travelling all the time and not settling with her. Her job’s in LA and she will not move to San Diego just to  work on some shitty local network. He wants kids but Rachel’s not ready to be a parent. He’s ok with that at first, thinking now is not the time, but she will eventually be ready. Then he realises, she never will be.

*   *   *

The fights and yelling continue. Both of them are too tense, snapping at each other every chance they get so they decide it is for the best they take a break.

*   *   *

Mike isn’t even that surprised when Rachel tells him about the affair, about her meeting her soulmate and wanting to be with him. Elated, she tells him what it was like to see him for the first time and hear his voice outside her head. The smile doesn’t disappear off her face as Mike swallows down everything he wants to say. He doesn’t blame her (not too much), he wants to be with his soulmate too.

*   *   *

The divorce is bittersweet - after all, Mike got used to having Rachel around just like he got used to not hearing the girl’s voice. It takes him a few months to recover and his aching back and knees are no help whatsoever. His teammates keep commenting on his growing grumpiness but Mike shrugs them off since he can’t afford to focus on that. Not now when he has another rookie pitcher coming and all eyes are on him to make it work.

It’s a girl rookie, and so far, Mike hasn’t heard anything about her. He spends a few days watching her tapes, studying her play, posture, stats. She’s not bad but he needs to see her in action on field with him to get the real picture.

*   *   *

It’s her voice chanting his name that wakes him up in the middle of the night, ‘Mike Lawson, tomorrow. Mike Lawson, tomorrow’. 

Mike doesn’t know how he should feel. He’s ecstatic she’s back. Hearing her again after so long feels like winning World Series. At the same time, it’s scares him. Tomorrow? Is it some kind of warning? Is something going to happen?

He struggles but finally falls asleep again holding onto her voice.

*   *   *

He arrives at Petco and heads to the locker room, changes quickly and goes out into the field. He’s about to grab the bat when his head starts pounding, footsteps echoing in his ears and her 'I didn’t see Mike Lawson out there’.

 There where?

He shakes his head and sips some water to calm himself. What the hell?

*     *    *

Mike is talking to some of his teammates when her loud internal squeal breaks his concentration and assaults his ears. He shifts his gaze from his teammates to collect himself because this sound, it’s getting louder and louder.

And just then he notices a girl in Padres jacket standing at the dugout and he hears 'act cool, act cool, act cool, don’t freak out’ so loud he’s afraid his eardrums are going to burst.

What in the world?!

He moves towards her and his palms start sweating, his throat goes dry, and his legs feel like they’re made of lead.

She practically jumping on her feet, smiling brightly, dimples set deep on her face.

 It’ can’t be, right? Of course it’s not her, No way.

Mike internally chastises himself and adopts his usual persona, the carefree playboy catcher as he approaches her. This is just his new rookie.

‘Look what we got here Ginny Baker, in the flesh.’  He congratulates himself on managing to stay calm and say those words with ease he does not feel.

She stars to speak, 'I should tell you, I have your rookie card-’

And  knocks the fucking air out if his lungs.

*    *    *   *   *

She’s back home, in one of her rare visits since her dad died. She’s with her mom at the supermarket, the first time she hears him,

"What if she wants kids, just not with me? What if she’s still waiting for her-"

The thought is cut off which is good since Ginny is about to have a breakdown right there in the middle of the store. Her mom is looking at her like she’s grown a second head and it is then Ginny realises she had screamed. Her hands are shaking but she assures her mom it was nothing more but a nasty cramp.

Ginny dismisses the event as her brain being exhausted after the yelling match she had with Will that day. It was nothing really.

*   *   *

Only, the voice emerges again, and this time Ginny takes notice of the pain and despair it’s laced with that making her sad all of a sudden.

"I can’t do this anymore, I can’t."

And it sounds eerily like Mike lawson’s voice. Which is insane. Completely and utterly insane. ‘Get over it, Ginny,’ she tells herself.

She doesn’t.

*   *   *

It continues happening, his voice popping up at the most inconvenient times - sometimes when she’s in the shower, sometimes in her sleep, sometimes during games which is especially dangerous since her connection to him, the owner of the voice, has become stronger and her feelings are all jumbled when it comes to him making it that much harder to focus on pitching.

But she got Mike Lawson’s voice stuck in her head, all the struggles he’s facing with his divorce and it pains her to know how deeply it affects him. More than anything, his hurt over a failed marriage, a failed family, makes her want to call him immediately and console him. Him thinking she’s a crazy stalker calling him in the middle of the night stops her from doing so.

*   *   *

She signs for Padres and her excitement is only ruined by his voice and doubt he displays in her abilities.

"A female pitcher? Yeah right."

What the hell? Does he even know how good she is? And what’s with that snarky and dismissive attitude?

*  *  *

Ginny block out the voice in the weeks following the signing and moving to San Diego. She blocks out everything and everyone.

*   *  *

When she steps in the hallway leading to the locker-room, Amelia, Oscar and Al by her side, something inside of her stirs. She can’t pinpoint what it is exactly… maybe it’s just the overwhelming feeling of being at Petco, of making history, or even meeting her idol.

*   *   *

When she goes out to the field one of the first things, or rather persons, she notices is  _him_ , Mike Lawson. He looks so fine even from this distance and Ginny can’t contain her excitement.

He notices her and after exchanging a few words with his teammates he starts approaching her. Her  heart beats wild in her chest and she has to clench her fists and bite the inside of her cheek to prevent herself from screaming out his name.

 "Act cool, act cool, act cool, don’t freak out", she chants.

Mike Lawson’s standing in front of her, hands on his hips and that smug smile she’s seen on far too many photos.

"Look what we got here. Ginny Baker, in the flesh."

She rushes to speak to her idol, telling him 'I should tell you, I have your rookie card-“ before she registers his shocked expression.

‘It’s you!’ he exclaims, mouth agape.

Oh dear, she knows what he means.

"Only now realising it, ha, old man? Well, I knew it was you all along."


End file.
